He only exist in my mind

My ideal guy would be taller than me. Tanned skin. Messy brown hair like he just got out of bed. He won’t bother shaving for days and just leave the growing mustache and beard in his face but still looks clean. Ears with industrial piercing. He also have unusually amazing tattoos on his body, not like those cliché tattoos that doesn’t make sense. Rough hands that says he likes to do things on his own. Deep dark brown eyes. He eats a lot but he can still manage to look like a rock star.

He’s got a good personality. He can be friends with people who have different kinds of characters. He’s fun to be with. He’s also a smoker, and every week we’ll challenge each other to stop and then fail miserably together. The only sport he likes is F1. He plays basketball and soccer but he don’t follow the game religiously. He’s patient. He would listen to me whine. He’d understand about my anger issues. But he can be impatient too. He’d tell me when to stop being a bitch. He’d tell me when I’m being stupid. He likes kids but doesn’t know how to approach one. We would fight about how he find dogs more awesome than cats. He hates the same stuff that I do but we like different things. We have inside jokes that people will never find funny. He likes to cuss a lot. He loves to drive around. He’ll stay with me when I’m drunk and will lift my hair when I barf. He’d be my crying shoulder when I’m having PMS. He also likes making me mix tapes about songs that don’t really make a point. He likes teasing me a lot but knows when to stop. We watch a lot of movies, but he won’t get why I like the 50’s French romance films or any 50’s or 60’s films, ever. We’ll have meaningful conversations and try to talk like we’re both smart adults. He would get mad at me when I bother him when he’s reading but he won’t take me seriously when I’m angry at him when he do the same for me. He’ll randomly text me excerpts from the book he just read and that caught his attention. That will be his way of saying ‘I love you’ to me. He hates Shakespeare. We take photos of our silly faces. We’ll never have a decent one. He will tell me not to skip classes because he doesn’t need a dumb bitch for a girl friend. He’ll meet my parents and tell me my dad is cool. He will always try to cook for me but will always end up almost burning the house down. He’s creative. Smart. Deep thinker. He’ll hold my hand but will break apart when my hands become sweaty.

He’d be a pain in the ass and I’ll be one too. We might give-up each other but I will always have a special place in his memory.